I ask your forgiveness

Forgive me I have not written in a while because I allowed the devil to distract me, with a woman. No, I never met her only had pictures, and by all accounts she was beautiful. But darkness laid inside her, this darkness was caused by her extreme wealth. I am not totally sure she was wealthy, but she spoke in a way that made me believe she was. She would make me feel good with words, but her actions created tests, to see if I would take risks that strayed from what I knew to be right. Tragically, I developed feelings for her only to get hurt, and it is hard to shake because a part of me still loves her.

           I will not go into further details but, as sure as the ground that you walk on is solid, the devil accomplished his goal for a short period of time. I had stopped fighting the devil, who brings only destruction upon us with sweet words. Sweet words spoken by someone you are growing close to plays on the emotions in an attempt to lead them into sin is a favorite tool of the enemy.  This distraction confirms that my grief work, the steps I need to heal my heart and build my relationships with God, my family, and my friends, has not been completed.  It took the loss of another friend to show me what I had allowed to happen.

I had known my friend for seventeen years and his death came after a long illness.  He believed In Jesus, so I know I will see him again. His wife asked me to come see him before he passed away, but while I was on my way he died.

The moment I walked into the house, the smell of death overwhelmed me. Memories of Martha’s death blindsided me.  I remembered so vividly it was as if I were transported back to the last moments at her bedside and to moments that followed.  Clearly, God awakened me to how I had wandered off the path chasing an illusion of the devil.  He drew me back into His light and His embrace. I had let evil almost pull me down. The devil had attempted to distract me and prevent the healing and restoration God has for me. Why evil would place this as a priority, I do not know.  Apart from this blog, what God has planned for me, remains in the shadows, but He has shown me my grief journey has not concluded.

So please forgive me for being distracted, I love you all.   In Jesus, may Gods peace be with you!