Three AM

 Three A.M. The voices linger on that delicate boundary between dream and reality. I awaken abruptly, shuddering. Reaching over, I turn on the light. As real as the dream seemed, I find myself alone. It is yet another night of interrupted sleep. My eyes scan the room. I am drenched in a cold sweat, such was the intensity of the dream. A recurring dream, so vivid I can almost catch a whiff of her cologne, feel the touch of her skin, and hear the now fading conversation. So vivid I can hardly believe it was a dream. These fragments challenge my fragile attempts to ward off the depression they bring. It does not always happen, but I do not know which dreams will weave their way into my mood and motivation for the day ahead. Only God knows if it will or not.

I begin to pray for the person I saw in my dream. This alleviates the cold sweat. But then, as if to taunt me and halt my prayers, while I am wide awake—or at least I think I am—a presence enters the room to remind me of what I have lost.  Thus, it is at THREE A.M., the demon of depression whispers into my ear. I echo this whisper, Then the overwhelming silence of his room becomes a room of depression. The name of the enemy is depression.

Depression, one more result of the Fall, one more arrow in the enemy’s quiver designed to produce stagnation and death. In this world, I will have depression, but I take heart knowing Christ has overcome the world. In these moments of despair, I have only one choice, one place to go as I cry; I remember Jesus and begin to pray. Depression continues its attack with its blades of despair, only to find God’s angels appearing and defending me, lifting me above the gloom, prodding me, at times kicking me in the rear.

In another part of the world, a saint of God awakens with a start. This saint of God begins to pray, asking for protection from depression, for whom they do not know. The angels defending me suddenly have more power to defeat Depression and send it on its way. Not permanently, not yet anyway, for this must be defeated over time and through prayer. I am reminded that I am not the only one praying to overcome. I am reminded that when God prompts me to pray for someone else, I need to stop right there and PRAY. As alone as I feel, I am not alone.

This is the nature of Grief; it must be worked through, but it cannot be defeated without God’s help. It is not a foot race—fortunately because I am in no shape for a foot race, it is a journey. Can the other side of grief be reached without God? It can. Can Christians shove grief down and deny it until it eats them alive? They can. But with Christ, the journey rests in the understanding that God has brought you through before and He will bring you through again. Perseverance builds character and character builds hope. It takes much longer without His help. Denial can destroy the individual or damage one’s witness for Christ. Failure to grieve and lack of support can cause a person to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol or end up on multiple prescription medications just to cope.

Depression, I know your name. But let me make it clear, we are not friends. You are not a welcome guest in my home or mind.

SO IN JESUS NAME DEPRESION YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.