Why does Grief have to be?

I have heard so many reasons for grief, But none really touch, the way it makes you feel. Lets talk about it for a moment; there are five stages of grief, first is denial, so I actually went through this in December 2018, this is when the first of twelve strokes began. I had to leave a good job, move back home to take care of Martha. But I truly believed she would get better, then another stroke in February the 14th. This is where I went through the next stage I got angry, I was not back home yet and nobody saw this stage. In March she had another, then in April another. June she looked like she was getting better, So back to denial. Then two strokes at the same time put her back in the hospital, so back to the anger stage. Ye ha, the ups and downs of grief, I felt we were owed something good but then another stroke. Deep in my heart I knew the answer was not good but I had to keep up the smiling face. Continue to be the man, I was seeing the love of my life taken from me a piece at a time. This was the roller coaster I was going through, Then Martha went home to be with the Lord. Then shock wow I could not think, I could not move. I loved her, so even though I thought I was reaching the next stage, I was not. For the next few weeks I could not really think, I became depressed but denying this in a way. Now I believe I have finally reach what is called the bargaining stage, this is where you try to find meaning in life, reach out to others, and tell stories about the one you lost and how it affected yourself. You also find your own story, who am I, what am I going to do next, how does this define me. The next stage is acceptance I have to move forward and right now I am stuck but exploring ideas on how to do the next right thing. I have found that I faced grief over leaving my job in Louisiana, I faced grief in the loss of my wife. So up and down the grief stairs, but has it changed me? I don’t know but I am working on it.

So why grief? The grief process is there to show you that you are normal, that you did care, if you thought that you did not, it is there to make you realize who you are, Who you can be. Grief is there to help you make since of loss, if you were not able to grieve you would go insane, trying to understand death.