Saddened

Today I find myself sad, not because of anything frustrating or memorable just sad, guess what this is normal. The loss of someone causes a rift in the time space continuum for anyone who loved someone. That loss causes heart pain that comes and goes away, at a moments notice. There was a funeral for a man just last week, that I missed for two reasons the first was because, I had already planned a visit to Ruston. The second was because I was a coward, yep I said it coward just a few months after Martha’s funeral, I found myself afraid to go so with an excuse already available I took it to miss the funeral. But I may have hurt someone in the process, not on purpose but by not being there when I should have been. I truly wish I could turn back time and go but for us time is linier, so all I have is an apology for people who care about me and I care about.

This is the nature of grief problems that come out of nowhere making you not want to go out. People may not understand any of this, that’s ok the love you have for the one you lost is your personal thing to deal with not theirs, if you can find someone to talk to it helps. To get back to the rift when loving someone you lost you find yourself remembering the littlest things which take you back to when they where here with you. Those memories are like a rift in time then suddenly you snap back, happy that you remember, then sad because you did. This is why I write for all to see so maybe what I am experiencing will help others.

Love you all